Twas’ the week I was home for Summer, and all through Roswell

Not a party was thrown; I was in an alcohol dry spell

The Taco Mac queso was eaten without a care

In hopes that the weight gain just wouldn’t be there

I snuggled with my puppies in my old giant bed

While visions of sleeping till noon danced in my head

And the J Crew coupons were clipped and stacked neatly

In hopes Don Don felt the need for some retail therapy

My plans were soon shattered at 9AM the next morning

When Don Don awoke me without any warning

I’m not a morning person, so it’s all a bit hazy

Something about a messy room and when I got so lazy

And this dish to wash and that window to clean

It was clear that J Crew was just in my dreams

Forget watching marathons of anything bridal

My parents only wanted to watch American Idol

The junk food from my high school years had all disappeared

As my Adkins dieting father says “no carbs allowed here!”

And every time I lunched with the girls for a catch up session

Don Don prompted me with a thousand and one questions

“Now, who? Now, where? Now, what time and why?

Is she still at Georgia? I heard she went Pi Phi!

I heard she got arrested! Do you think that’s true?

Now don’t forget when you get back we’ve got things to do!”

By this time I was in need of a super strong cocktail

I began sneaking rum from the cabinet without fail

At dinner with friends, downing a glass of wine

Or two, or three, or four… don’t worry it’s fine

And that’s when I had this bright idea!

Throw the party of the month? No the party of the year!

Oh wait, just kidding, my social life is rather barren

I’ll just leave that one up to good ol’ Aaron

So I decided to do what I do best, much to my parents’ dismay

Lie in bed and watch Netflix all day every day!

I quickly ran through Toddlers and Tiaras season 1

Who knew being a bum could be so much fun?

Don Don hated my laziness but gave up the fight

And agreed to pay for a manicure, which was quite all right

She even cooked me dinner, I guess being at home has its pros

But lest we forget, the 30 million other woes

A summer in Auburn is the best there can be!

Drink specials and pool days? Sounds damn good to me!

I can’t remember the last time “War Eagle!” was heard

Over here in Dawg nation, it’s like a curse word

And ATL traffic, now that’s just a pain

I’m ready to go back to the “Loveliest Village on the Plains”

And now that Chipotle has burst on the scene

My needs have been met in terms of Auburn cuisine

Everyone knows summer classes are mostly a joke

I’d rather lay by the Creekside pool with a rum and a coke

So while Roswell will always be close to my heart

I’m thinking it’s about time for us to part

I’ll just pack up my Xterra, and hit 85

And sing Call Me Maybe my whole 2 hour drive

So here’s where my poem ends, so I guess I’ll just say

Happy Summer to all, see you at Sky Bar on Wednesday!